Did owning our sexuality, screw us?

I had a unsettling thought last night…what if the female sexual empowerment movement actually diminished the value of our sex in the eyes of men? This is not a bash on feminism piece, I am a proud feminist. As a 21 year old woman at a public university, ‘casual sex’ is ultimately normalized. I’m a fourth year undergrad & just ended a 3 1/2 year long distance relationship with my ‘high school sweetheart’. So I am a rare case of entering the college dating sphere as a senior but oh well, what can go wrong right? I have never been scared to be alone. I stayed in my relationship because I was deeply in love with him and I viewed it as not being a quitter. I put hard work into everything I do and a 3 1/2 LONG distance (700 miles) relationship is freak’n work! So I didn’t quit for as long as I could. But now skip ahead, 21 year old thrown into the gruesome dating world that only 16 year old me hazely knew. Now, I am three months in & let me tell ya, it is quite the roller coaster on your psyche. The notion that we can let ourselves be intimate with another. Be naked & completely vulnerable with someone else, but then be expected to not be personally offended when they toss you to the side without a second thought. I don’t know if this is only a lie women have to tell themselves that actually IS a lie & men actually have the ability to do this. OR if both men & women actually do not have the capacity to 100% separate their feelings with their sexuality. Are women’s hearts in their vaginas & men’s in their dicks? Or can only men separate emotion from sex? Or this just me, & I just need to up sexual maturity? Toughen up? I thought I was tough, yet I still carve some form of validation from the opposite sex. Whether through a text, snap, like, etc. & that carving/need makes me realize I can’t separate my heart from my vagina no matter how hard I front. As women, we should own our sexuality because we do possess the same sex drive as men, but we should be weary that it is a damn privilege for anyone we let into our lady gardens. In my moments of doubt & insecurity, I like to turn to the wise words of Tina Blecher:

giphy